You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
home. puking in laundry basket.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize