the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
