i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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