So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
