my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Having a random hookup so left but love u
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
