Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
