I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
