It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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