We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
