I puked a lego.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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