Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
