Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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