doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I want to fling myself into the sun
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
