HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Randomize
