dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
