where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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