Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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