so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
