I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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