So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
