why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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