You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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