just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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