Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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