what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We had sex on a dog bed..
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
