now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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