Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
