NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
