its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
