HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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