I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
