the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
