i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
