I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
And then my night got REAL pukey
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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