I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
