So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
