Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
