I got chris browned last night
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
