I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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