It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
