You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i came on her dog
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
