please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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