I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
