Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we made out on top of his cat.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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