Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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