I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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