This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
