just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
