My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the day after is always just damage control
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
