Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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