I'm lost and stupid without you.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
